So... someone asked me to write a spoof silly thing about Halo 3.. and I thought I'd go ahead and post it on here.
Halo 3 Updates
Janine: “Today on HealthWatch- the latest strain of the deadly Halo virus that claimed so many lives in 2001 is now back and stronger than ever. Here’s HealthWatch special reporter Natasha Kensington with the latest updates…”
Natasha Kensington: “Thank you Janine- as you mentioned the virus is back, and in fact, stronger than ever with the number of cases increasing by the hour. Over a thousand cases have been confirmed worldwide and this latest strain is the deadliest of all. As you can see from our confirmed cases map- North America is seeing the worst of what doctors and researchers are now calling Halo 3. Those working on cures and a variation of the anti-virus used to stop the original strain say there still may be hope for a future for those affected by Halo 3…”
Dr. Rourke: “What we are seeing in patients who suffer from Halo 3 are the same signs from the original strain in ’01.” The virus is spread most commonly through person to person contact. We see groups of younger, healthy people…. with their friends and once one person has it in a close-knit group – it just spreads like wildfire. We’re seeing it tear apart families, because quarantine is vital to keep it from spreading. Once a patient gets the Halo 3 virus- the symptoms take effect almost instantly. Loss of appetite, patient develops a fear of leaving their home; you get these bright, young- otherwise healthy individuals- and once they contract Halo 3 and it begins to take it’s toll on the body… they become vegetable-like, in a sense. In 95% of the cases we have studied- those affected could no longer focus on anything that once mattered. They don’t want to spend time with families, they don’t enjoy going out; it’s like the withdrawal from the outside world.
In many cases, those being monitored suffered night terrors that included shouting out similar words in all cases such as “lag,” and “programmed.” We still don’t know what connection these words have to the Halo 3 epidemic. This does, however, tell us just how mentally damaging a virus of these proportions can become.
That’s why we have been working around the clock on ODST. It is still in it’s rawest form- several tests and trials runs have been done, but nothing that can be released to date is a sure way to completely wipe out Halo 3. Our goal is to have the ODST anti-virus readily available to those currently suffering from Halo 3 in the fall of this year. ODST will resemble many AIDS/HIV medications in that it will only temporarily fix victims- at least until we can Reach out to them with something stronger… something permanent.”
Natasha Kensingtion: “Now-- doctors do recommend you report any suspicious symptoms in yourself or others to your nearest hospital immediately. Symptoms to look for include the following:
-sudden withdrawal from normal activities
-delusions
-loss of appetite
-extreme rage
-mood swings
-paranoia
-poor hygiene due to lack of will to live
-no concept of real time
-night terrors
So as you can see Janine- it is important for us all to help stop the spread of the Halo 3 virus. Doctors also strongly recommend staying away from those with Halo 3. People should avoid parties where large quantities of people could be exposed. This – along with around the clock research for a cure- can slowly help destroy all that is Halo 3… back to you Janine.”
Janine: Thank you… that was our very own Natasha Kensington with your HealthWatch update. Tune in tonight at 6 to see the full interview with Dr. Rourke, founder of the ODST Research Center: Race for the Cure program. Up next- Chinese government officials make more arrests in connection with the recent virtual robberies of a bank in a popular online video game… details after the break.”
Proof of concept for a promising new technology.
I did note that the Xbox frame-gen implementation is not perfect. There appear to be intermediate freezing issues when there's a camera cut during cinematics, but while a bit annoying, it does not intrude on gameplay (a quick look at PS5 doesn't see this issue manifest)
Xbox Can’t catch a break recently
"I did note that the Xbox frame-gen implementation is not perfect."
Grasping at straws I see.
In the video John literally says that FSR 3´s implementation on Xbox Series X is far better than the PC version on release, and they are very impressed with the results. Especially considering that they didn´t even expect such performance to be possible achieved from 30fps. Not even AMD itself recommends 30fps for frame generation.
And... perfect? It´s not perfect even on PC to this day, so I´m no sure what you mean by that.
Maybe it´s perfect on PS5, I don´t know. It would be nice if you post the source of the analysis video of the PS5 version you saw to back up your claims.
"Xbox Can’t catch a break recently"
Don´t worry about the Xbox. There´ll be PLENTY of upcoming first party games to take advantage of FSR 3 in the coming months and years.
Indiana Jones, Avowed, Fable, Shattered Space (Starfield), Gears of War 6, Perfect Dark, State of Decay 3 and many many more.
Also, I´m expecting a FSR 3 update for Hellblade II rather sooner than later.
Great times ahead.
"It would be nice if you post the source of the analysis video of the PS5 version you saw to back up your claims.'
no I just quoted from the very article we are commenting on, these were digital foundry's words, saying xbox isn't perfect, but on the ps5 version, it doesn't see the issue manifest.
Console warring over a framerate pause during non-interactive content in a first-of-its-kind implementation in a game no one gave a crap about when it released 9-10 months ago.
Gotta love N4G.
"INDIE Live Expo, Japan’s premiere online digital showcase series connecting indie game fans all over the world, highlighted more than 150 games during its Saturday broadcast introducing world premieres, new trailers, and updates during its 10th-ever digital showcase." - INDIE Live Expo.
"The Tokyo-based (Japan) indie games publisher Alliance Arts and indie games developer WSS playground, are today very happy and excitted to announce that their Texas Hold’em adventure RPG "All in Abyss: Judge the Fake", is coming to PC via Steam in 2024." - Jonas Ek,TGG.
...cahk. hahahaha. This story is totally about me.
lol My best friend has all those symptoms.Such a Halo nut
reminds me of the WoW disease. Also nice Reach reference.
funny read....Whoda thought halo 3 could be funny....But yeah agreeing with baseball fan. Nice Reach reference....Cause it actually makes alot of sense when you think about it.
am only 12.what is this?