Ok here we go…
(cough)
Polish. Is it always needed? You could hand in your homework with a straight face, gentlemanly, or you could hand it in on a dirt bike, popping a cap in your teachers ass with a muthaluvin Uzi as you do. The homework is still handed in. What I'm trying to say is that in some special, very rare cases, imperfection can be ignored, like when you're dropping a nuke on a shanty town, to kill one guy.
Folks, if you're gonna get this game, you need to be prepared to put aside your beliefs on texture pop, strong storylines, goldfish lip sync, so you can rekindle your love for RPG's, nuclear weapons, and black humour.
One thing you're gonna take note of whether I tell you to or not, is the graphics. While the have their moments of glory, close ups on faces in cut scenes, amazing looking explosions I mean seriously, especially with a dual shock 3 controller or 360 controller buzzing in your hand to every explosion, you are gonna love blowing stuff up. This game is fun, and that is it's selling point. You've got to hand it to Pandemic for never taking this game seriously, because the only thing worse than this game being buggy, would be this game being a serious affair.
Plot time "don't go near that man Jimmy, he has spoilers!"
You have the choice between three lead characters, an anarchistic Viking, a black guy who constantly smokes cigars, and this chick, I dunno. Anyway, all this choice changes are the cut scenes, and how fast you can move or regenerate health, well come to that later. The plot will essentially always go in the same direction, everyone wants to kill Solano, the villain, because all three get shot in the ass, and all three are pissed. The story couldn't have been anything other than a joke, which is what it is, and it isn't memorable, so just forget it.
Yes you regenerate health. Yes it does make it too easy, and that brings me to a fatal flaw, the game needs different difficulty settings. You can actually drop a carpet bomb on your own head and you will not die, because you cannot die from any one thing, it has to be an extreme combination of a tank, guys with RPG's, and an APC, to even begin to take down your chosen John Rambo; (that comparison was way too easy).
Its glitchy, it's ridiculous, it's beautiful, its too much fun, it's mercenaries.
