Five Disturbing Truths About Mario Games

From DAMNLAG.com:

"The Mario franchise portrays a perfect world filled with bright colors, lovable characters, and cute little mushroom-skulled men skipping about. With over two-hundred million games sold within the franchise, the world has seemingly bought into the illusion. But just because the world refuses to question Mario’s world, that doesn’t mean I won’t. The truth is, a lot of stones go unturned in the Mushroom Kingdom, and if you have the gall to ask a few questions, you’ll find out that it’s actually one fucked up place."

[Connoro]

Good article - really puts the Mushroom Kingdomn in perspective. The faux utopia argument could arguably be used for some of the Zelda games as well, what with the monarchy and the increasing signs of poverty as you move further from Hyrule Castle.

[boogeyman999]

Yeah sure dude. Whatever you say.

[MAR-TYR-DOM]

Good Story bro

[AbyssGravelord]

Cool Story Bro*

FTFY

[HolyOrangeCows]

Bowser is a hero. I didn't realize it until it was too late. I've already saved Peach from the other castle.

[NeutralGamer]

Reminds me on the collegehumor videos:
http://www.youtube.com/watc...
http://www.youtube.com/watc...

[halo4fan]

That gave me a laugh I needed.

[facelike]

"Mario is a genocide committing bigot, treating the handicapped Goombas and slow-moving Koopas like stepping stones. Paper Mario revealed that Goombas and Koopas all have families, so that means every time Mario obliterates a Goomba, a child celebrates the holidays without a parent. Mario is somewhat like the Grinch to Goombas, but instead of stealing all of Whoville’s presents, he asphyxiated all of their adults."

Haha!!!

[GamingForever]

Hilarious article!

[MechaZain]

But what about Donkey Kong Country?

Why is King K. Rool in power if DK is the apparent true heir?

[giantchicken]

No one knows or cares. lol.

[Dukeoffl]

Hilarious.

[Terarmzar]

When i think of mario i think of this: Rise of Mushroom Kingdom

http://www.youtube.com/watc... Part 1

http://www.youtube.com/watc... Part 2

Warning very bloody

[turok]

quite the article. one must appreciate the many perspectives of such things.

[games4thought]

Raptor + Alien = Hilarious

[xino]

good article

[poopnscoop]

Be funnier if it was more original. Mario does drug, har, har, har. We've heard that one a million times before.

[AEtherbane]

Was awesome, ill never think of yoshi the same way again...

[karl]

THE YOSHI WAY

[XabiTheHumble]

I don't appreciate how he listed god as one of man kinds enemys...

[Gue1]

Read the bible. All the biggest conflicts in the history of man kind are because of god.

[PS3Freak]

I appreciate it.

[lex-1020]

They forgot the fact that Mario constantly crushes other living beings using his own body weight.

[TheGameFoxJTV]

Pretty sure they mentioned that multiple times.

[Cajun Chicken]

Amusing article. I'm one of those people who find it somewhat disturbing playing a 30 year old Italian plumber eating magic mushrooms created for some odd reason by a Japanese man...I like the games, but as for the character? He's a very confused near clone of the clothing and symbolism of Mickey Mouse. I just ignore the fact I'm playing as Mario in the games.

[BannedForNineYears]

http://www.damnlag.com/wp-c...
U R MR GAY. >_>
Or, U R MR. GAY rather.

[TheGameFoxJTV]

Now this is the kinda stuff I like to see on N4G. Things that true gamers can actually get a laugh, or information from. Not like the 1000000 other opinion pieces on the site that don't say ANYTHING.

[Fatal Blow]

From now on when i play mario i wont kill any Koopas or Goombas i will just jump over them lol

[theballa113092]

Haha FINALLY! Something not involving Fanboys! Awesome article.

[DigitalAnalog]

"Mario is a genocide committing bigot, treating the handicapped Goombas and slow-moving Koopas like stepping stones. Paper Mario revealed that Goombas and Koopas all have families, so that means every time Mario obliterates a Goomba, a child celebrates the holidays without a parent. Mario is somewhat like the Grinch to Goombas, but instead of stealing all of Whoville’s presents, he asphyxiated all of their adults."

I'm sorry, but when you started to play you very FIRST console, playing your very FIRST game, playing your very FIRST character and getting killed by the FIRST and easiest enemy of ALL of video game history. Then you can be rest assured every enemy from then on deserves the wrath of my vengeance!

-End statement

[Alos88]

The "Mario is filled with drug references" thing has been done to death, the rest was funny though.

[boogeyman999]

Great article.

[giantchicken]

"But let’s look again at this perfect world before we put Bowser’s name up there with Stalin, Hitler, God, and the rest of mankind’s most infamous villains."

Bwhahaha.

[wolfofashes]

This was really funny.Nice job to the guy who wrote this.

[lizard81288]

in the cartoons mario had a Brooklyn accent and loved spaghetti.