Niko Bellic, Grand Theft Auto IV's bruiser from the former Eastern Bloc, is a stone-cold couch potato, a desperate online dater with dead-on aim, and a chronic websurfer who could kill you in a hand-to-hand Krav Maga brawl. Fresh off the boat, he's an illegal immigrant pursuing the dual American dreams of quick money and mass multimedia consumption in the most vibrant, dynamic, and entertainment-packed playground in console videogame history: Liberty City. The civil engineers at Rockstar Games have upgraded this burg's infrastructure since you visited seven years ago in GTA3, adding basic cable (hours of programming Niko can watch on safe-house TVs), an in-game Internet rich with blogs, parody websites -- even e-mail spams -- and such star attractions as [spoiler deleted] performing stand-up comedy as well as a gentleman's club filled with G-stringed strippers who buzz your controller's vibration motors as they grind Niko's lap. (If you must wear sweatpants when you play, please don't share your joypad.)
